all man from the waist up

On Wednesday the guys convinced me to go out to check out a club that possibly had good music ("you can sleep when you´re dead." Can you believe that line worked? Twist my rubber arm.). So around 1:30 we set out for a place just off Placa Catalunya, I think it was called City Hall.
When we got there the bouncer informed us it was going to cost 10 Euros to get in. F&%* that! So we turned around, got a couple beers, and started walking back home along the Rambla. Then our luck turned; one of the guys ran into a girl he knew who just happened to be handing out free passes to the club we had just tried to get into. So we headed back up and went in (just behind some poor american suckers who were actually paying the cover), prepared to dance.
What we found was a concert that was just starting (at 2:30am!). I have no idea who it was but it was a dude in leather pants and a big puffy leather jacket and converse high tops singing while another guy played the synth. Things got better when the guy took his jacket off and wasn´t wearing anything underneath...but the best was when THE DANCER got up on stage. A painfully painfully thin man who was all woman from the waist down (high heeled boots, stockings, garters, a half girdle) and all man from the waist up (white tank top, suspenders, white collar and cuffs, black tie, hat, beard...and possibly eyeliner) stood behind the singer...cigarette held off to the side like he didn´t want to smell the smoke, he had the best dispassionate robot dance I´ve ever seen in my life. Seriously this guy was awesome; his facial expression did not change once. We couldn´t keep our eyes off him - I´ve never regretted not having my camera on me more.
The music was a bit tedious so we were all very happy when they got off stage and a dj started playing. That was short lived however since after one song another band took over...they had very amusing hair and outfits but after a few more songs it was unbearable and we had to leave.
It was all worth it for dancing guy though.

In Palma de Mallorca right now...it appears that my ´dorm´ is a room with 2 beds that I have to share with (ewww) a BOY! That I´ve never met before. Hostels - you never know what you´re gonna get. No I don´t mean it like that, you perv.

The overnight-no-cabin-cause-i-am-cheap ferry ride was fine, I slept for a few hours on a couch in the bar area where they kept playing Amelie on a loop and two Irish guys with a massive stack of beer cans in front of them talked loudly of their various sexual exploits. All very interesting.

I sat on the beach this afteroon and read and dodged creepy creeps.
Does this scenario ever actually get anyone laid?
- sitting really close to you (when the beach is practically deserted)
- staring at you for 3 minutes
- then saying "Hola! Hola!" repeatedly when you ignore the stare
- when you finally look up and say "No espanol" and "No comprende" and go back to your book, coming over and crouching next to you
- holding out his clammy hand in your face until you´re forced to shake it in the hope this will make him go away
- not letting go of said hand and then kissing it (this is when the yelling starts)
- and then kissing his fingers and touching your cheek with these nasty damp digits

They´ll go away if you start saying "NO! Adios!" really loud but what the eff. What is the point of this?
Ladies, women and girls - if ANY of you are encouraging this behaviour by actually hooking up with these guys, STOP NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Not that I think this poorly of you.
Actually, I don´t think they´re even really trying to meet people, I think they just get off on freaking random women out. Which makes me really sad and angry.

I need to learn how to say "Get the fuck away from me before I cut you, asshole." in Spanish. Anybody know how to do this?